So, this current assignment is more of a 'job' than a final destination. I get it, and I hope that those who are reading this, as well as those are being ministered to through my efforts at this stage, understand that this lack of fulfillment is not a suggestion of meaninglessness, indifference, or apathy. I truly enjoy the ministry I am engaged in and I am seeing 'fruit' in my efforts.
As I stated before, I think that part of the reason why I am serving where I am now, is because both I and the mission field are not let ready for harvest. I spoke at length about the current conditions of the fields and contemporary church, and now I would like to share my observations about God's timing in my life.
Timing is everything. We see this over and over again in Scripture. God states His desire and plan, and then says, "Net yet." From Abraham's gifting of the Promised Land to the Eschaton: God's timing is always perfect and almost always a step ahead from where we currently find ourselves. My life and calling is no different.
God told me I was going to be a 'missionary' at the age of 7, and again, at 17. However, He first required me to go to college, then come home for almost 3 years and work absent from vocational ministry before I would become a full-time 'missionary assistant.' And even then, I wasn't fully living out the calling God gave me at the beginning. I felt called to overseas missions and there I was working in the US and operating on college campuses in parachurch evangelism. Not bad, but not the destination that I first received.
Two years later, and now almost 10 years from my teenage revelation, I finally became a full fledged missionary, but still, it was to those living within the US and not overseas. But, I was independent and planting in the confines of the most international city within the United States, and one of only 4 Alpha cities globally. Was this now God's full plan revealed? Nope. I thought so for a while, but then He called out once again and said, "Not yet."
Here I am in my current vocation, serving full-time in ministry, in a non-orthodox, internally-based, mission environment. I have privilege and access of a unique and dynamic capacity, and am pulling on every experience and learning that I have received to this point in my life...and I am excelling in it. I am not perfect or setting records, but there is certainly the acknowledgment of others that my ministry is meaningful, needed and exceptional. Cool; but, in light of my journey so far, I know enough to know that this is but another step in reaching the revelation of that first calling.
Each previous experience was just that, a 'step.' It wasn't wrong, wasted, or mis-informed; it was perfect and necessary. I needed to learn to trust God incrementally in the unique and challenging scenarios that each moment provided. I've grown in doubt, hurt, and confusion, but more importantly, in trust, confidence, and security. I don't fear God failing to provide. I no longer live so desperately for the approval of man or his understanding of 'success.' (Yes, I still struggle with this, but not in the same way or to the same degree.) I know what it means to be a Christian, and it's something that books and churches can't teach (not trying to be mystic or sacrilegious). I know with greater clarity who I am and how I am, and nothing good will come from anyone until this truth is realized. Above all, I know that there is much to learn in this moment and place of ministry, and much to do before going forward to the next place, whenever that is.
I know that this period will require me to learn what it means to be a husband, father, and spiritual leader. I also know that this period will give me opportunity to grow in my understanding of worship, evangelism, and 'church.' Again, I don't know that the 'next step' is, but I know that it will depend on me learning these things now. It's not easy, and quite frankly, it sucks, because the 'classroom' here is vague, the experiments extreme, and the classmates are few and far between. But, so were the learning environments of most of God's people. Jacob lived with crooked Laban. The Israelites wandered in the desert. David was hunted like a dog. Babylon, anyone? Jesus was entertained by the devil for 40 days without food, and Paul lived in Arabia for several year and was never fully-accepted by his peers during his life (...and he may have never made it to Spain, after all).
Following God's call is a journey, and it is full of season, steps, and moments of fulfillment before being fully realized. It is so important to remember this and accept it; both for those starting out in ministry, and also for those who are decades into it. I know far too many who are trying to force God's calling into immediate fulfillment without any opportunity for God to lead or supply in means beyond their own understanding. Sadly, I know just as many who are well into their vocational callings, but have simply relieved themselves to accept that where they are, is where they are meant to be...forever. They are still occupying positions that they were called to years ago, but not where they are called to be today or tomorrow. I won't speculate as to 'why' in either case, but it is tragic for both them and those they serve.
I'm an American. I like everything 'hot' and 'now.' I don't a journey, I want a destination. But, God is dynamic and He cares as much about His minister as those who he ministers to. This necessitates a 'journey' approach: a process of revelation and transformation for all those who are called. I can't afford to skip it or blow it, and I can't afford to simply quit because its exhausting.
Three years into this current gig, and still three more to go. Three more years to learn, prepare, and intercede for what's next. But, just as importantly, three more years to minister, accomplish and care for the unique people who will only be in my life for a moment over these next three years. Nothing is ever wasted with God.
So, if you could be happier doing something else...then do it; but, do it with the knowledge gleaned from today and with a sense of God's timing guiding all things.
Sunday, August 27, 2017
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
If you could be happier...Part I
I've heard it said, and I've said it myself..."If you could be happier doing something else, then do something else." I believe in this saying with all my heart, and I believe it has been the sovereign tool of the Lord to guide me to where I am today. However, I also understand that the application of this truth is also something to consider.
In short, I am a mil chaplain because God wants me to be one at this point in time. Yes, I think the job is cool and meaningful, but it does not consume me with a sense of 'eternality.' It is what I must do now; but, I know I won't do it forever (and how could I since the mil eventually kicks everyone out at some point).
When I left NYC, I believed God was calling me to mil chaplaincy, but I also knew that my heart was full of other vocational passions...including ones that were not full-time ministry oriented. I pursued the possibility of some while also pursuing the chaplaincy, but, in the end, I knew that the chaplaincy was our 'next step.' There was a passion, a clear equipping in my personality, giftings and relationships, and I knew I would not be truly happy doing anything else at that moment. But, again, it was not the only passion in my heart. I still loved church planting; specifically, the simply community of faith. No, I didn't love the admin, the movement's expectations of what a church should be, do or say, or the bandwagon that church planting had become (which is not always a good thing, BTW), but I truly loved the intimate relationships that only come when you plant a church from scratch. I loved it then and I love it still to this day...
I think I'm in exile just like the Israelites in Babylon. Hopefully, I am not here because of my sin but, rather, like Jeremiah and Daniel (and perhaps Ezra & Nehemiah depending on when they were born), I am where I am now because the American church needs to go through a sifting of sorts and I need to be outside the church reaching, learning and planting in a present and expectant sort of way.
First, in light of recent events, I simply couldn't be a pastor of a local church. I would be lynched, alone, or have my ordination stripped. Not because I would be in sin, but simply because I cannot simply adapt, placate or ignore the craziness that is taking place in modern Christianity or Western society. Everyone has lost their mind because everything has radically changed. FINALLY, the Christian church is realizing that it truly is the minority in present age. The majority do not share their common beliefs or convictions, including the notion of a singular God. This has caused some churches to double-down and become so 'fundamental' that they have lost even more common ground with society, or back-off their traditional practices and beliefs and become so much like the world in thinking and practice that one wonders if they are still even a 'church' in the Christian sense.
But, it is not just the church that is going crazy with recent cultural changes. For a very long time, society has been drifting towards a more liberal, progressive, re-interpretative existence. There are times when this drift speeds up, slows down, and sometime even appears to be in retreat, but it has never really gone away...and I fear it won't ever. But, in the last 10-15 years, the brakes have come off the movement and it has enjoyed rapid progression, acceptance and implementation. Perhaps this change has happened too fast, because there now seems to be a complete loss of reason and appreciation for past and present. It is now "change for the sake of change" and no one can truly live in this kind of environment, devoid of significant meaning and reason (currently, I assess all reason being only 1-level deep (superficial, emotional)). For all the things social media sucks at, it is a great way to gauge the rationale of the current society, and right now it is telling us that we are lost and without an identity. For some, this might be a great time to plant a church, but I certainly do not thing it a great time for the majority to plant.
You may now be thinking or crying out: HOW CAN I POSSIBLY SUGGEST THIS HERESY? Well, as I look over the 5k year history of God's involvement in the Biblical characters lives, I see times where He is planting, nurturing, trimming, uprooting, and even 'absent' from explicit evangelism and church ministry. It is not what He ever withdrawals His Spirit or leaves the earth without a witness or presence, please do not misunderstand. But, it is clear that there are seasons (dispensations, for some of you) where He "pulls back" and let's the world shift and reframe. There are great gaps in the timeline of Genesis, the hundreds of years between the OT and NT, and even within the Church Age (ever heard of the Dark Ages...there was more than academic illiteracy taking place during this time). And isn't because of these periods of silence/absence/passivity that we, therefore, recognize and proclaim revivals, awakenings and illumination? Of course, so please do not think of me as a complete heretic.
I believe, for these and other reasons, that we are in a period where church growth and planting is not ideal. It is NOT that God is not still desiring for all to be saved, or that He cannot overcome the particulars of the present age. It is simply that the ark has not yet settled on Mount Ararat; the church has not yet learned its new identity and language in Babylon; and/or that those who are/will be saved are not yet sure what they are/will be saved from (sin is a great term and principle, but it needs a context).
Again, I am not saying that God is absent, that those who are planting and serving in a church context are without hope or legitimacy, or that we are should hold out for the 'ideal time' to evangelize and minister. Nothing could be further from the truth! I am only saying that the current age is dark, shifting, undefined, difficult and without an existential meaning, which makes it more difficult than in recent ages. And, please also remember that I began this post with reasons why I believe that God has not yet released me to that singular and powerful passion that I still carry to pastor. But, more on this more personal note later...
In short, I am a mil chaplain because God wants me to be one at this point in time. Yes, I think the job is cool and meaningful, but it does not consume me with a sense of 'eternality.' It is what I must do now; but, I know I won't do it forever (and how could I since the mil eventually kicks everyone out at some point).
When I left NYC, I believed God was calling me to mil chaplaincy, but I also knew that my heart was full of other vocational passions...including ones that were not full-time ministry oriented. I pursued the possibility of some while also pursuing the chaplaincy, but, in the end, I knew that the chaplaincy was our 'next step.' There was a passion, a clear equipping in my personality, giftings and relationships, and I knew I would not be truly happy doing anything else at that moment. But, again, it was not the only passion in my heart. I still loved church planting; specifically, the simply community of faith. No, I didn't love the admin, the movement's expectations of what a church should be, do or say, or the bandwagon that church planting had become (which is not always a good thing, BTW), but I truly loved the intimate relationships that only come when you plant a church from scratch. I loved it then and I love it still to this day...
I think I'm in exile just like the Israelites in Babylon. Hopefully, I am not here because of my sin but, rather, like Jeremiah and Daniel (and perhaps Ezra & Nehemiah depending on when they were born), I am where I am now because the American church needs to go through a sifting of sorts and I need to be outside the church reaching, learning and planting in a present and expectant sort of way.
First, in light of recent events, I simply couldn't be a pastor of a local church. I would be lynched, alone, or have my ordination stripped. Not because I would be in sin, but simply because I cannot simply adapt, placate or ignore the craziness that is taking place in modern Christianity or Western society. Everyone has lost their mind because everything has radically changed. FINALLY, the Christian church is realizing that it truly is the minority in present age. The majority do not share their common beliefs or convictions, including the notion of a singular God. This has caused some churches to double-down and become so 'fundamental' that they have lost even more common ground with society, or back-off their traditional practices and beliefs and become so much like the world in thinking and practice that one wonders if they are still even a 'church' in the Christian sense.
But, it is not just the church that is going crazy with recent cultural changes. For a very long time, society has been drifting towards a more liberal, progressive, re-interpretative existence. There are times when this drift speeds up, slows down, and sometime even appears to be in retreat, but it has never really gone away...and I fear it won't ever. But, in the last 10-15 years, the brakes have come off the movement and it has enjoyed rapid progression, acceptance and implementation. Perhaps this change has happened too fast, because there now seems to be a complete loss of reason and appreciation for past and present. It is now "change for the sake of change" and no one can truly live in this kind of environment, devoid of significant meaning and reason (currently, I assess all reason being only 1-level deep (superficial, emotional)). For all the things social media sucks at, it is a great way to gauge the rationale of the current society, and right now it is telling us that we are lost and without an identity. For some, this might be a great time to plant a church, but I certainly do not thing it a great time for the majority to plant.
You may now be thinking or crying out: HOW CAN I POSSIBLY SUGGEST THIS HERESY? Well, as I look over the 5k year history of God's involvement in the Biblical characters lives, I see times where He is planting, nurturing, trimming, uprooting, and even 'absent' from explicit evangelism and church ministry. It is not what He ever withdrawals His Spirit or leaves the earth without a witness or presence, please do not misunderstand. But, it is clear that there are seasons (dispensations, for some of you) where He "pulls back" and let's the world shift and reframe. There are great gaps in the timeline of Genesis, the hundreds of years between the OT and NT, and even within the Church Age (ever heard of the Dark Ages...there was more than academic illiteracy taking place during this time). And isn't because of these periods of silence/absence/passivity that we, therefore, recognize and proclaim revivals, awakenings and illumination? Of course, so please do not think of me as a complete heretic.
I believe, for these and other reasons, that we are in a period where church growth and planting is not ideal. It is NOT that God is not still desiring for all to be saved, or that He cannot overcome the particulars of the present age. It is simply that the ark has not yet settled on Mount Ararat; the church has not yet learned its new identity and language in Babylon; and/or that those who are/will be saved are not yet sure what they are/will be saved from (sin is a great term and principle, but it needs a context).
Again, I am not saying that God is absent, that those who are planting and serving in a church context are without hope or legitimacy, or that we are should hold out for the 'ideal time' to evangelize and minister. Nothing could be further from the truth! I am only saying that the current age is dark, shifting, undefined, difficult and without an existential meaning, which makes it more difficult than in recent ages. And, please also remember that I began this post with reasons why I believe that God has not yet released me to that singular and powerful passion that I still carry to pastor. But, more on this more personal note later...
Static Spirituality and the Cross
What are we to make of the Cross?
As has already been noted, the cross is only mentioned 13 times in the Epistles (Pauline or otherwise); yet, you would think it is main idea of every paragraph in the Christian text according to church tradition, worship songs, sermon pleas, imagery, etc. Ask anyone (Christian or otherwise) for a symbol or teaching on Christianity, and I'm pretty sure they are going to cite/reference the cross. But is this right, good, and/or proper? What's going on here? The simple answer is that Christian theology has been hijacked by bad theology going all the way back to the Patristics (early church Fathers) and no one has really attempted to right the course (IMO).
In the early days of the Church (from the NT to the time of Constantine (300s)), its followers needed a means of identification. They couldn't cite Jewish imagery since the majority of Jews were very hostile to the Christian teachings and followers. They couldn't cite any of their former religious ways or teachings, because they had no common ground or relevance. They needed a distinguishing mark from their new faith story, and they found a perfect symbol in the image of the cross. Why? Because, for many, this was the sole understanding of their faith. Look at the Gospel of Mark, long believed to be the first NT book written. Mark's story doesn't mention Christmas, it just jumps right in to Jesus being baptized and appointing disciples. The story then moves quickly to a central event: the crucifixion, and then just about ends. Why? Because the point being conveyed is that Jesus came to die and pronounce the Kingdom via His cross. Boom. But, there is further evidence for why the church choose to make much of the cross.
Acts and the Epistles: Jesus is always referenced via His cross. Yes, there are a few passages that speak to His incarnation...and occasionally, His teachings...but, Jesus is always tied (proverbially) to His cross. Why? Again, because it was through His cross that man receives forgiveness and acceptance into the Kingdom of God. No cross, no salvation. No cross, no acceptance from God or His blessings. Seems to me that choosing the cross as the image of the faith makes a lot of good sense (and, additionally, the cross was a grotesque symbol in those days and the Church didn't have to worry about anyone else hijacking their chosen branding). But, such an understanding did not remain the understanding of the church for very long... Here is where the bad theology comes into play.
As the church gets older and goes farther out into the world, away from it's Jewish roots, less and less people begin identifying with its teachings. They think their versions of faith and worship of god(s) is OK by them, and they are not looking for a replacement since they any need of a replacement. Additionally, those who were Christians, now 2nd-, 3rd-, or even 4th-generation Believers, are established in their faith and practice and some have even begun to loose some of their zeal. (Can you imagine??) In short, the Church found itself in a bit of a plateau and struggling for relevancy. What to do about such things? Compromise and adopt synergistic (blended) approach to the faith? Heck no! Christianity just became a nationally accepted religion under Constantine and now the Church is freely unifying within the Empire. The Church went bold and attempted to guilt-trip everyone into the faith. Rather than see participation in the Christian faith as a means of participating in the Kingdom of God, and, thus, elevating the privilege of man, Church leaders decided to de-emphasize man by highlighting his sinful, unworthiness. In this instance, the cross becomes not only man's hope, but purpose. Instead of seeing the cross as a means of salvation, the cross becomes salvation. But, "What's wrong with that?," you may ask. Everything.
Bad Theology
Man is a wretched mess because of sin. Apart from God, man sins freely and damns himself to the consequences of death, pain, isolation, and the like. Yes, man sucks because of sin. However, if you take sin out of the equation, man is quite the elevated being (Psalms 8 and Hebrews 2). Bad theology crept in when the Church began making too much of man's sin, and not enough about God's desire to place His glory in and through mankind.
I know that some think that by emphasizing the crappiness of man and his sin, they promote in contrast the glory of God and His forgiveness. I understand this, and agree to a certain extent. However, if we spend all our time talking about man, then the emphasis is still on man...and merely saving man! This leads to people running to the cross to be forgiven, but not much else. Believe it or not, the message of the Bible is NOT the salvation of man, but the GLORY of GOD.
Good Theology
God does not save us so that we can merely be 'forgiven.' Genesis to Revelation informs us that man is created to DO the will of God. In other words: our purpose is to bring forth His glory, which in the collective form is His Kingdom. The cross makes this possible, but it is the means, not the end. We are saved to DO the good works He prepared in advance (of our Fall and His cross) to do (Ephesians 2:8-10)!
It is time that we stop singing and preaching about the Cross as the sole purpose of our faith. Rather, may we return to the Biblical message and declare with WORDs and DEEDs that our purpose is enjoying the Kingdom of God here and now because of the cross. We who believe are now free from death, isolation and damnation. We have been restored and adopted as heirs with Christ. We have been raised to His life and given His Spirit so that we may live as He lived (Romans 6 and 8), enjoying and proclaiming the Kingdom of God.
When we adopt bad theology and see the means of God (cross or otherwise) as the end, we are left with a very static spirituality. There is nothing left for us to do but idolize rote traditions and acts. BUT, if we see the living, expressive, and communal God as our aim, and pursue Him through His appoints means, then we are free to worship Him in new, dynamic and creative ways that are never dull, 1-dimensional, or static. Like a friend to a friend; a bride to her groom; or, a son to his father, when living persons walk in relationship and seek the personhood, not the acts of another, there is love and there is power. This is our calling. This is our message. And, this must be our identity, regardless of what image we use to declare it.
As has already been noted, the cross is only mentioned 13 times in the Epistles (Pauline or otherwise); yet, you would think it is main idea of every paragraph in the Christian text according to church tradition, worship songs, sermon pleas, imagery, etc. Ask anyone (Christian or otherwise) for a symbol or teaching on Christianity, and I'm pretty sure they are going to cite/reference the cross. But is this right, good, and/or proper? What's going on here? The simple answer is that Christian theology has been hijacked by bad theology going all the way back to the Patristics (early church Fathers) and no one has really attempted to right the course (IMO).
In the early days of the Church (from the NT to the time of Constantine (300s)), its followers needed a means of identification. They couldn't cite Jewish imagery since the majority of Jews were very hostile to the Christian teachings and followers. They couldn't cite any of their former religious ways or teachings, because they had no common ground or relevance. They needed a distinguishing mark from their new faith story, and they found a perfect symbol in the image of the cross. Why? Because, for many, this was the sole understanding of their faith. Look at the Gospel of Mark, long believed to be the first NT book written. Mark's story doesn't mention Christmas, it just jumps right in to Jesus being baptized and appointing disciples. The story then moves quickly to a central event: the crucifixion, and then just about ends. Why? Because the point being conveyed is that Jesus came to die and pronounce the Kingdom via His cross. Boom. But, there is further evidence for why the church choose to make much of the cross.
Acts and the Epistles: Jesus is always referenced via His cross. Yes, there are a few passages that speak to His incarnation...and occasionally, His teachings...but, Jesus is always tied (proverbially) to His cross. Why? Again, because it was through His cross that man receives forgiveness and acceptance into the Kingdom of God. No cross, no salvation. No cross, no acceptance from God or His blessings. Seems to me that choosing the cross as the image of the faith makes a lot of good sense (and, additionally, the cross was a grotesque symbol in those days and the Church didn't have to worry about anyone else hijacking their chosen branding). But, such an understanding did not remain the understanding of the church for very long... Here is where the bad theology comes into play.
As the church gets older and goes farther out into the world, away from it's Jewish roots, less and less people begin identifying with its teachings. They think their versions of faith and worship of god(s) is OK by them, and they are not looking for a replacement since they any need of a replacement. Additionally, those who were Christians, now 2nd-, 3rd-, or even 4th-generation Believers, are established in their faith and practice and some have even begun to loose some of their zeal. (Can you imagine??) In short, the Church found itself in a bit of a plateau and struggling for relevancy. What to do about such things? Compromise and adopt synergistic (blended) approach to the faith? Heck no! Christianity just became a nationally accepted religion under Constantine and now the Church is freely unifying within the Empire. The Church went bold and attempted to guilt-trip everyone into the faith. Rather than see participation in the Christian faith as a means of participating in the Kingdom of God, and, thus, elevating the privilege of man, Church leaders decided to de-emphasize man by highlighting his sinful, unworthiness. In this instance, the cross becomes not only man's hope, but purpose. Instead of seeing the cross as a means of salvation, the cross becomes salvation. But, "What's wrong with that?," you may ask. Everything.
Bad Theology
Man is a wretched mess because of sin. Apart from God, man sins freely and damns himself to the consequences of death, pain, isolation, and the like. Yes, man sucks because of sin. However, if you take sin out of the equation, man is quite the elevated being (Psalms 8 and Hebrews 2). Bad theology crept in when the Church began making too much of man's sin, and not enough about God's desire to place His glory in and through mankind.
I know that some think that by emphasizing the crappiness of man and his sin, they promote in contrast the glory of God and His forgiveness. I understand this, and agree to a certain extent. However, if we spend all our time talking about man, then the emphasis is still on man...and merely saving man! This leads to people running to the cross to be forgiven, but not much else. Believe it or not, the message of the Bible is NOT the salvation of man, but the GLORY of GOD.
Good Theology
God does not save us so that we can merely be 'forgiven.' Genesis to Revelation informs us that man is created to DO the will of God. In other words: our purpose is to bring forth His glory, which in the collective form is His Kingdom. The cross makes this possible, but it is the means, not the end. We are saved to DO the good works He prepared in advance (of our Fall and His cross) to do (Ephesians 2:8-10)!
It is time that we stop singing and preaching about the Cross as the sole purpose of our faith. Rather, may we return to the Biblical message and declare with WORDs and DEEDs that our purpose is enjoying the Kingdom of God here and now because of the cross. We who believe are now free from death, isolation and damnation. We have been restored and adopted as heirs with Christ. We have been raised to His life and given His Spirit so that we may live as He lived (Romans 6 and 8), enjoying and proclaiming the Kingdom of God.
When we adopt bad theology and see the means of God (cross or otherwise) as the end, we are left with a very static spirituality. There is nothing left for us to do but idolize rote traditions and acts. BUT, if we see the living, expressive, and communal God as our aim, and pursue Him through His appoints means, then we are free to worship Him in new, dynamic and creative ways that are never dull, 1-dimensional, or static. Like a friend to a friend; a bride to her groom; or, a son to his father, when living persons walk in relationship and seek the personhood, not the acts of another, there is love and there is power. This is our calling. This is our message. And, this must be our identity, regardless of what image we use to declare it.
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