I've heard it said, and I've said it myself..."If you could be happier doing something else, then do something else." I believe in this saying with all my heart, and I believe it has been the sovereign tool of the Lord to guide me to where I am today. However, I also understand that the application of this truth is also something to consider.
In short, I am a mil chaplain because God wants me to be one at this point in time. Yes, I think the job is cool and meaningful, but it does not consume me with a sense of 'eternality.' It is what I must do now; but, I know I won't do it forever (and how could I since the mil eventually kicks everyone out at some point).
When I left NYC, I believed God was calling me to mil chaplaincy, but I also knew that my heart was full of other vocational passions...including ones that were not full-time ministry oriented. I pursued the possibility of some while also pursuing the chaplaincy, but, in the end, I knew that the chaplaincy was our 'next step.' There was a passion, a clear equipping in my personality, giftings and relationships, and I knew I would not be truly happy doing anything else at that moment. But, again, it was not the only passion in my heart. I still loved church planting; specifically, the simply community of faith. No, I didn't love the admin, the movement's expectations of what a church should be, do or say, or the bandwagon that church planting had become (which is not always a good thing, BTW), but I truly loved the intimate relationships that only come when you plant a church from scratch. I loved it then and I love it still to this day...
I think I'm in exile just like the Israelites in Babylon. Hopefully, I am not here because of my sin but, rather, like Jeremiah and Daniel (and perhaps Ezra & Nehemiah depending on when they were born), I am where I am now because the American church needs to go through a sifting of sorts and I need to be outside the church reaching, learning and planting in a present and expectant sort of way.
First, in light of recent events, I simply couldn't be a pastor of a local church. I would be lynched, alone, or have my ordination stripped. Not because I would be in sin, but simply because I cannot simply adapt, placate or ignore the craziness that is taking place in modern Christianity or Western society. Everyone has lost their mind because everything has radically changed. FINALLY, the Christian church is realizing that it truly is the minority in present age. The majority do not share their common beliefs or convictions, including the notion of a singular God. This has caused some churches to double-down and become so 'fundamental' that they have lost even more common ground with society, or back-off their traditional practices and beliefs and become so much like the world in thinking and practice that one wonders if they are still even a 'church' in the Christian sense.
But, it is not just the church that is going crazy with recent cultural changes. For a very long time, society has been drifting towards a more liberal, progressive, re-interpretative existence. There are times when this drift speeds up, slows down, and sometime even appears to be in retreat, but it has never really gone away...and I fear it won't ever. But, in the last 10-15 years, the brakes have come off the movement and it has enjoyed rapid progression, acceptance and implementation. Perhaps this change has happened too fast, because there now seems to be a complete loss of reason and appreciation for past and present. It is now "change for the sake of change" and no one can truly live in this kind of environment, devoid of significant meaning and reason (currently, I assess all reason being only 1-level deep (superficial, emotional)). For all the things social media sucks at, it is a great way to gauge the rationale of the current society, and right now it is telling us that we are lost and without an identity. For some, this might be a great time to plant a church, but I certainly do not thing it a great time for the majority to plant.
You may now be thinking or crying out: HOW CAN I POSSIBLY SUGGEST THIS HERESY? Well, as I look over the 5k year history of God's involvement in the Biblical characters lives, I see times where He is planting, nurturing, trimming, uprooting, and even 'absent' from explicit evangelism and church ministry. It is not what He ever withdrawals His Spirit or leaves the earth without a witness or presence, please do not misunderstand. But, it is clear that there are seasons (dispensations, for some of you) where He "pulls back" and let's the world shift and reframe. There are great gaps in the timeline of Genesis, the hundreds of years between the OT and NT, and even within the Church Age (ever heard of the Dark Ages...there was more than academic illiteracy taking place during this time). And isn't because of these periods of silence/absence/passivity that we, therefore, recognize and proclaim revivals, awakenings and illumination? Of course, so please do not think of me as a complete heretic.
I believe, for these and other reasons, that we are in a period where church growth and planting is not ideal. It is NOT that God is not still desiring for all to be saved, or that He cannot overcome the particulars of the present age. It is simply that the ark has not yet settled on Mount Ararat; the church has not yet learned its new identity and language in Babylon; and/or that those who are/will be saved are not yet sure what they are/will be saved from (sin is a great term and principle, but it needs a context).
Again, I am not saying that God is absent, that those who are planting and serving in a church context are without hope or legitimacy, or that we are should hold out for the 'ideal time' to evangelize and minister. Nothing could be further from the truth! I am only saying that the current age is dark, shifting, undefined, difficult and without an existential meaning, which makes it more difficult than in recent ages. And, please also remember that I began this post with reasons why I believe that God has not yet released me to that singular and powerful passion that I still carry to pastor. But, more on this more personal note later...
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