I Must If I Can

So, the other day I was wrapping up an otherwise normal day at the hospital.  I was on one of my favorite wards and had just finished seeing my last patient before returning to my office to chart, change into my cycling gear and then ride home to my beautiful family.  I love the end of the day.

However, as I was walking out of the ward past the nurses' station, I noticed a bouquet of flowers laying unattended.  Having a great relationship with my corpsmen and nurse team, I asked where the flowers came from and what they were doing laying on the counter in such a sorry state.  A young corpsmen replied that the flowers were left behind by one of the patients and given as a gift to the staff.  Unfortunately, no one had taken the time to accept or care for the flowers so they had just been laying on the counter all afternoon.

So, I asked the corpsman why he didn't take the time to care for the flowers, and he responded, "Because they're cheap, I don't really care about flowers, and they are going to die anyway."

Hmmm...a teachable moment had arrived.

"Brother, you are a corpsman!  Your job is to bring life and hope to the dying and sickly!  What do you mean 'you don't care?'  The flowers are literally right in front of you.  In fact, they were given as a gift to you and your team because someone actually liked the care you provided to them.  But, beyond this emotional provocation, you should care for these flowers because you can.  Look!  The flowers even come with a little 'fertilizer pack' attached to the stems.  Get a glass of water, dump the pack into the water, and 'Viola!,' you've saved the flowers, honored those who gave the flowers to you, accomplished something meaningful, and perhaps even brightened up the entire ward.  Come on, man; you're a corpsman!"

His response: "Sorry, Chaps.  Not happening.  They are just flowers."

Oh, well...I tried.  Now, off to the bike, wife, kids and puppy at home.

However, as I took the first step toward the door and out of the ward, the conviction of the Spirit fell on me. If he wouldn't, then I must.  How can I walk away when I have just as much ability as the corpsman?  If I can, then I must!

I turned around, grabbed the bouquet, and went into the break room in the back of the ward.  I found an old sports bottle (with the Navy logo branded on it!), filled it with water, put the fertilizer in, mixed it up, gave the stems a fresh cut with a butter knife, ripped the plastic wrapper off the bouquet and dropped the flowers in the bottle.  It took a whopping 90sec.

Without saying a word, I walked back out to the nurses' station, set the flowers on the corner, and kept on walking.  It's approximately 12' from the nurses' desk to the entry doors to the ward/hallway.  Before I could hit the doors, the whole place was commenting on how beautiful the flowers were and how great it was to have some color and life in the place.  Someone even commented kindly on the patient who had donated them earlier in the day.

I just kept on walking...

I don't always do things because I want to. I certainly don't do things because I think the task/person itself is 'worth it.' (I'm way too cynical & Calvinistic for that!)  I've learned that the praise of man and self if way too fleeting and often leads to negative consequences, so I typically do not do things to be recognized.  For me, it simply comes down to: If I can, then I must.

As a Christian, I know that my life is not my own.  Nothing that I possess ultimately belongs to me; it's all on loan from God.  I am 100% accountable to Him for everything: every breath, every conversation, every thought, every penny in my account, every relationship, every desire and every act.  I belong to Him and He is not only holding me accountable, but He is also providing me with every opportunity and resource to meet that opportunity.  How, then, can I pass these divine moments by or squander them for the weak and worthless impulses of my own will and desire?  That's ridiculous.

Some of you religious types right now might be criticizing me now because I just revealed that my motivation is not completely grounded in 'love' for God or others. Sorry.  I wish it was, and I'm striving everyday to love God and those around more and more, but sometimes I'm just not there.  However, in all things I am constantly aware of God's sovereignty and my duty to Him.  For me, this is a 'first motivation,' which leads to right action, which, in turn, reminds me of God's worth and love for me and my love for Him.  Duty before Love.

We can't always be motivated by whether not something is 'worth it.'  And we certainly cannot be motivated to act simply because we 'feel' like it.  If we can, then we must.  And since everything comes from Him in abundance, then we always can and we always must.  And in doing so, the world is made better, lives are renewed with purpose, and God is ultimately glorified.

Go and Do.

Unintentional Intentional Encounters

My job routinely puts me in contact with persons who are not looking for me or my profession.  It is on the rare occasion that I get people seeking appointments.  Instead, it is often those who are being forced by their superiors as a 'last ditch,' or, what is even more common, a tragedy has taken over their life and I just so 'happen' to wonder into their path...or they into mine.  Which is more true is precisely the point on this post.  For as much as I can assume and surmise that people are not looking for me, I cannot say that I am always looking for them.  It is not that I am avoiding people or those in need; in fact, it is quite the opposite.  I hate my office and am always out on the streets and wards looking for opportunity to minister or come alongside someone else.  However, even when out 'seeking,' I am never really seeking a particular person or situation, and in this, I can say that I am seek those who I encounter.

A great example of this miracle and mystery occurred recently while assigned to 'duty.'  When on call as the 'duty,' my job is to respond to every and all requests at any and all hours of the week...not just day.  As it happened during this recent stint, calls for my service always came when I was either asleep or with my family doing something far and removed from work.  And, YES, while happy to meet the spiritual and emotional needs of others at any time, I can always say with certainty that whenever the phone request would come in, I was must definitely NOT looking for be pulled into work of service for others!  I must confess that the ride into work is not the most holy of times in my life...

However, in every instance during my recent duty watch, the people I have had the opportunity to minister to have been remarkable!  In each case, they were initially very hesitant to see me, and, in some cases, had no intentional use for me because I was not of their faith group or expectations.  Yet, pushing care and desire aside, when left to only each other and the circumstances we found ourselves in, our need and what we had to offer could not have been more perfect or compensating.

The best example was an elderly woman who had just brought her husband of many years into the ER for emergency surgery in the middle of the night.  He was very, very sick and non-responsive.  She was alone and she had no one to comfort her.  I was called in because there simply was no one else to call.

When I arrived, she was gone.  None of the staff knew where she went and a search took place around the building via me and a few corpsmen.  Eventually, we spotted her walker in the moonlight next to a bench out by the curb.  She was smoking a cigarette, hunched over and talking on her cell phone. Never saying a word or trying to interrupt, I only joined her on the bench and waited.  When she completed her call, she looked the other way and only acknowledged my presence with an apology for smoking.  I told her I was a chaplain and was only here to take care of her.  Dismissing my ministry instantaneously as 'not for her,' she told me how she was a former Christian and now practicing Buddhist because it was for her, after all, the only logical step.  She was gracious in her explanation, but it was still innately rejecting.  I responded with only, "Tell me your story.  How did all of this come about?"

For the next hour she shared her life, her marriage, her family, and ultimately her journey through faith.  At each point, I stayed with her and only listened.  Sure, there were points where I wanted to correct of sound off from my experience or understanding, but I wasn't there for me, I was there for her.  And the more I listened, the more she opened up, and the more her demeanor went from despair to hope.  After two hours, it was like a lifetime had passed from the horror of bringing her husband to the ER and suffering alone to now sitting with me on a bench in the middle of the night.

But, guess who else had undergone a deep and lasting change?  Me!  I found myself not only happy to be with her, but longing for the conversation to continue on.  As she shared her story, I not only connected with her experiences, but I found myself learning and observing the hand of God working through this encounter with her and into my soul and understanding.  Being there for her, and not for me, changed everything.  And when it finally came time for me to depart and for her to care for other matters related to her husband, guess who was all to eager to have me pray with her?  And guess what else?  All the preconceived ideas and prayers I thought I was going to pray went right out the window at that point.  Through our unintentional intentional encounter, God showed up and revealed His will, ministry and peace to both of us. 

Let us never assume that we are 'in charge,' 'complete,' or 'knowing' what it is we think we need.  Instead, let us remain ever open to the Spirit, humble before His direction, and quite in His midst.  A life led by the Spirit is always a life used and filled.

I Might Be Crazy, but..

The past two weeks have been incredible.  They been filled with great moments of encouragement and equal parts disappointment.  Just before leaving for a 10-day work/play-cation in FL, I received news that a coworker and close friend was undergoing a horrific drawn-out tragedy.  Despite being mentally 'checked out' and eager to do nothing more than get out of San Diego and play with my family, I found myself compelled to spend every possible moment before boarding the plane with my friend in the hospital room.  I didn't have words, healing or expectations of my presence being "what was needed" to change this person's life or situation, I just knew that I had to be there for my friend.

When it came time to arrive in FL for the work portion of my trip, I thought I knew what I was going to expect, experience, and feel in regards to people, subjects and events that often accompany 'church meetings.'  There would be the hyper-zealots, the 'too cools,' the 'old guard,' and the vast array of ministers trying so hard to communicate their worth through their performance and results.  This is always the case, and I've been a part of each group at one point in my ministry career.  This time, however, was going to be different.  I told myself that I had matured, that I was more confident and secure than before, and that having already experienced these types of events that I would be prepared to see past the silliness and just have a good time.  Well, that kinda happened...

For the first couple of days, everything was great.  All the stereotypes and gimmicks were on display, I was able to connect with some great friends, and I was even finding myself thinking and preparing for new and future ministry endeavors, both in San Diego and beyond.  But, then that 'moment' happened when all my triggers were tripped at the same time.

It happened in a way that I wasn't expecting, even though I was fully prepared for the vehicle by which the moment came forth.  Without revealing the details, it is necessary to disclose that the events that led to my 'meltdown' took place in rapid succession during a moment that could describe most Sunday morning church services.  Everyone gathers, gets caught up in emotion rather than substance, affirms self or others at the expense of the One, and then walks away with an elevated opinion or quite arrogance that what they have just experienced or affirmed is the best and truest truth.  It's crazy and it's the sole result of the human ego...not simply American spirituality.  I see the same thing at political rallies, business meetings and even within our military institutions (all places which you would hope 'self' would never be a factor).

I snapped.  I threw my hands in the air and walked out of the convention center, not only not caring if people saw me, but, to some degree, hoping that they would see me!  It was a bit of a tantrum, but why?  Why was something that I knew and expected would happen, planned on responding to, now causing me to go into a mini-tailspin?  I had a couple of service answers in my head: because I'm right, they are wrong; they are doing it all wrong; this is what is wrong with the world, etc. But, these knee-jerk and surface-level explanations were not the true cause.  Something else was going on inside of me.  Something was being provoked that caused me to respond deeply and passionately, and at my own expense.

I survived the event and went on to have a great convention with the church.  I moved past the moment described above and put all my attention to the remaining days away.  Now, with the church business portion completed, I could have uninterrupted fun with my family at our favorite vacation spot!  Our bodies were adjusted to the weather and time zone, the trip was all-inclusive, so there was literally no real reason for anything to spoil our final days together.  But, then that moment came...

After a great day of playing and eating our body weight in food, I woke up from a dead sleep with this unprovoked question piercing my consciousness: Why are you doing this [ministry]?  It's not at all what you expected and it is more often than not at complete odds with what you want.  Why are you doing this?  I didn't have an answer at the time.  I tried reminding myself that it was because I felt a certain way at a certain time; heard/felt God's calling at one point; or, because somebody needed to do it.  All good answers, but they didn't satisfy the question.  So, then I tried this response: Because I screwed up and called myself into ministry because of a response to some other event or belief in my life.  That, too, proved insufficient and unsatisfying.  At this point, I did what any wise soul would do, I went back to bed, ignored the question and events of the week, and had a great vacation.

Sure enough, however, the next day back at work, it all came together.  In a simple discussion with my colleagues, the motives and desires of our lives were revealed and discussed openly.  Each one talked about his/her passions, plans and experiences, and in doing so, revealed a lot about their deep-seated motives and reasons for who they are and what they do (even if not consciously aware of such).  I found myself almost completely at odds with what my peers were saying.  It wasn't that their reasons or values were wrong or lesser than my own, they just simply were not my reasons and values.  No big deal, expect that in some instances the reasons they described I did once consider my own!  This apparent and unexpected change caught me off guard and really put a kink in my day.  I was frustrated, irritated, bored and anxious.  I was all the things I had experienced previously at the church convention and the middle-of-the-night crisis at one time.  Unable to run out, quit the job, or take a nap, I buried my frustration and went back to work visiting hospital staff and patients.

As I got ready to make my first rounds, I received several notes from our receptionist.  In addition to my normal rounds and patients, their were people requesting my ministry and service.  A nice compliment, but one that would make my work day longer and certainly more complicated.  Surprisingly, I didn't mind.  Then, when I entered my first ward, a sailor was standing in the hallway waiting for me.  "Sir, I need to schedule a time to speak with you," she said.  "Get in line, Sister," I thought in my head, but what I actually said was, "OK, great.  What would be a good time for you?  Actually, are you free now?"  We talked for over an hour and witnessed God's healing and presence in a very unique and unexpected way!

With my day and schedule now completely messed up, I just kept on hitting my rounds.  And, sure enough, it was one crisis and miracle after another!  What should have been an easy and short day, turned into one of constant interruption and personal frustration, except for the fact that at the end of the day I felt completely FULFILLED.

I don't know exactly why I respond the way I do the things of life.  One minute I think I'm driven by a particular passion, and then in an instant I discover that it's either not true or certainly not the sole contributor.  I didn't know why it came so easy for me to disrupt my life and schedule and go beyond what was expected of me to be with my friend in the hospital.  Sure, it was 'compassion,' but what drove the 'compassion' component at that moment?  Why did I go bananas when everything that I had already known was going to happen, happened in a crazy church convention?  Sure, I was frustrated (and largely disgusted), but so what?  People do dumb things for the wrong reasons all the time. It doesn't have to affect me.  Why did I wake up with such a nagging and seemingly unanswerable question for no apparent reason?  Because I was subconsciously still dealing with it?  Sure; but why?

Here it is, folks.  As far as I can tell...at this point..my life is simply not my own.  I am fully aware of what I want, need, expect and believe, but it is not the ultimate driving force in my daily life.  I do perform a lot of actions and make a lot of decisions on what I want or what I think is best, but I would be completely wrong to think that I, alone, am in the driver's seat.  As I look back over the events of these past two weeks, I see the presence, voice, and action of the Spirit influencing my life.  He is the one driving my life, leading me into these situations, and causing me to fulfill the occupational and existential qualities of my existence.  I know this may seem like a trite or "Sunday School" answer, but I can't think of one more true.  I simply cannot contribute the trajectory of my life to my own desires or passions, nor can I take any credit for its relative success in drawing me or others to God.  IT's ALL Him, and it is why that at the end of the day, I am only fulfilled when He has shown up and displayed His qualities and values!

So, where do I go from here?  How should I respond to such a conclusion? No clue, other than I plan to simply continue to get out of the way (decrease) so that He can increase.  I have no problem simply being 'along for the ride,' IF He is the one leading.

Why I am Assembly of God

This week, my family and I will travel to our denomination’s biannual (every two year) conference.  It’s a full-on church gathering with evening services, prayer meetings, business sessions and tons of opportunities to eat while learning about missionaries and ministries.  It’s a weeklong event and I am honored to be a part of it…even if it does drive me insane at times and cost a small fortune to attend!  In a day and age where the most popular churches and Christian speakers are non-denominational, I feel it important for me to share my main reason for why I am not only “pro-“ denomination, but, in particular, a member of the Assemblies of God (A/G).

For starters, I grew up in an Assemblies of God church, and for four brief years of my early life, I was also a Methodist.  I’ve always known denominations and “groupings” and growing up I never saw any negatives to being associated with them.  In fact, as far as I could tell, “Assembly of God” was simply a title you put after your church name.  I had no idea about corporate doctrines, bylaws, governance, etc.  In my home church, everything was handled internally and the local pastor and his board ruled the roost.  No one told us what to preach, when to preach, how we were to conduct church policy or even who would be our pastor.  It wasn’t until I went off to an Assemblies of God Bible College that I actually learned the full potential and capabilities of being in a denomination.  But, even then, it wasn’t something I viewed as intrinsically evil or damning but, rather, quite the opposite.  I liked the idea of being a part of something bigger than myself and having a network of like-minded people to interact with and find support.  Upon graduating from Bible College, I became a proud licensed minister and tithing member of the team!

Things did change, however, while I was serving as church planter in NYC.  Being a denominational minister is pretty easy. You affirm the church’s doctrines, mail in a few bucks every year, and stay out of trouble with other people’s money and/or body parts.  There really isn’t much to it.  Being a church leader, however, is a completely other story.  You see, according to federal law and the Internal Revenue System, there are many legal implications that churches must adhere in order to enjoy all the benefits of being a legal church.  If you are a denominational church, the number of laws you must adhere to doubles, because now you not only have to play by the Fed’s rules but also that of the denomination.  The trouble with this, however, is that no two churches are ever alike.  Personalities, practices, cultures, economic demographics and a whole hosts of other realities complicate the establishment of local church governance and policy, and sometimes the rules (and rulers) of a denomination can really make compliance and success nearly impossible.  There were many, many days (years) while serving in Queens that I was seriously considering leaving the A/G and doing the ‘non-denom’ thing, but God wouldn’t let me.  It’s not because God is loyal to the A/G but, rather, because God knew that His church in Queens was bigger than the A/G and certainly a lot bigger than me!  The church needed the freedom to discern it’s own identity and function, but it also needed to do so free from my personal (and limited) perspective and personality.  Here is where denominationalism, and, in particular, the Assemblies of God, shines.

The beauty of the Assemblies of God isn’t its doctrine (although it is good and strong), but its freedom of expression/interpretation.  The Assemblies defines itself as a “cooperative fellowship,” which means that it not only fully understands the uniqueness of each local church, but that it also affirms its autonomy.  Rather than producing or mandating principles and practices, the A/G strives to only enforce the principle while leaving the interpretation and practice up to the local church.  This single aspect of the A/G literally saved our church plant from long-term failure in Queens and me from insanity!  There was no way that our church was going to be able to successfully conform to the habits and particular policies of other established churches, even within the denomination and the local geography.  But the A/G district and national leadership didn’t panic or give an ultimatum, they simply considered our uniqueness, compared it to other complying and successful A/G churches and then aided us in finding a personal solution.  They were patient, understanding, and empowering and it resulted in a legally compliant church with members who now can now positively identify their faith and church with other Believers across the country and globe.  But more than the ability to identify with the larger church, I believe what my story, and that of denominations, in general, affirm is the biblical principle of accountability.  No one should be free of authority and oversight…in any area of their life.

All Are to Live Under Authority
Jesus was God in the flesh, yet He submitted every thought, action and word to the authority and will of the Father.  Let us never forget, it wasn’t the will of Jesus to go to the cross, it was the will of the Father (Luke 22:42).  Likewise, Paul was not a disciple of Jesus nor was he friends with His disciples when he became a Christian.  Nevertheless, upon conversion and appointment for ministry, the very first thing he does is return to Jerusalem to receive the blessing and accountability of the church leadership. And in each and every church he establishes, he ties its membership in both faith (doctrine) and finances back to the Jerusalem church and leadership.  Individuals and churches need to be under formal authority at all times; it’s good and it’s biblical!

I love being a part of God’s larger church and I love being a part of the Assemblies of God.  Do I agree with all that the Assemblies of God says and does? Of course not! But differences in opinion and practice do not mean that individual parties cannot still serve one another or submit to a common authority. As demonstrated in my story above, these variations can actually make each member and the larger group stronger and more effective!  I choose to be Assemblies of God because we not only affirm authority, but we celebrate individual uniqueness and expression. 

So, off I go to meet with thousands of other ministers who are as diverse and particular as I am, and who’s church may look in every way very different than the one I would pastor. I am sure that there will be plenty of ‘eye rolls’ out of all of us for the things we say and do, but at the end of the day, we will all rejoice and praise God for the singular identity and mission to which He has called us and that we are fulfilling together!

From NYC to the Navy

Perhaps the biggest question I am often asked is “Why did you join the Navy?”  This is a very fair question, especially in light of the fact that since I was 7 years old, I’ve always said that I felt called to be a missionary.  So, how does one go from pursuing a life of overseas mission, to becoming a church planter in NYC, to now occupying the role of a US Navy chaplain?  Well, in all honesty, it’s quite simple.

When I was young, I was heavily involved in my local church, specifically, the Kids Church program.  Three times as week (4, if you include Sunday School), there were age-specific classes designed for kids to learn about their faith, church, and evangelism.  It was great fun even if I didn’t always want to attend or support the lesson (or teacher).  Hanging out with kids my own age, learning at my own level of understanding and seeing my church friends so many times a week was a very good thing.  And, apparently, even if I was only attending because I was either (a) drug to church by my parents or (b) simply there to play with my buddies and screw off, the lessons and message of the church were seeping into my life and understanding.  I know this because my very first year at summer church camp, and without provocation or my parents’ presence, I sought God on my own and experienced His voice and presence in an unprecedented way.  When the preacher asked people to ‘come down and seek God’ that night, I knew what he meant.  I figured out how to pray and when God responded, I knew it was Him.  And what He said to me that night was also in line with what I was being taught and experiencing every week in church.  God was asking me to be a missionary: to go and tell people in other parts of the world about Him, His church, and His return.  I didn’t have to ask anyone to explaining anything to me and simply understood the fulfillment of that call as me going forth and spending my life traveling abroad and telling people about Jesus.  At that point in my life, I understood Missionary = Travel.

In my teenage years, and following a time of adolescent rebellion, I remained active in my local church youth group and began participating in oversea mission trips.  It was great fun, but it was also deeply, deeply satisfying because I was doing for the first-time what I understood God had called me to as a child.  I was traveling abroad and telling people about God’s Truth.  This eventually led me to Bible College, where I continued to travel abroad and learn more about the Bible and ministry.  It was also at college where I was given a unique opportunity to travel for an extended period of time.  Seeking God’s direction for where I was to go, He instead put a people on my heart.  While serving in Israel, God gave me a deep and heavenly love for Jewish people and I knew that my calling as a missionary was more than a call to travel, it was a call to love people.  Therefore, when I left Bible College, I didn’t pursue ministry overseas, I pursued a people wherever they happened to be.  Turns out, lots of them were here in the U.S!  There were thousands of Jewish people on American college campuses, so my wife and I partnered with Chi Alpha as US Missionaries and aided Christian students in understanding and blessing their Jewish friends.  We were fulfilling the call in our understanding: Missionary = Travel, People Group, Evangelism.  But it was also during these years where some deep-seated questions began to arise.  Namely, where does the Church fit into all of this?

Up to this point, I had only understood the Church as the ‘sending’ part of missions.  Missionaries ‘go’ because they are ‘sent’ through prayer and finances from the larger church.  This was all good, but it seemed incomplete in light of the many people we were reaching as missionaries.  Our presence and ministry blessed people, but we were not sufficiently getting them grounded in the work and ministry of faith, God, or a local community.  I started to see myself as a traveling act.  We roll in, draw a crowd, have some great moments, and then roll out hoping it meant something to someone.  It kinda sucked.

It was at this point that God, once again, expanded my understanding of the call to be a missionary.  It was not just about itinerate ministry to a specific people group; it was about doing these things with the aim of establishing an indigenous and lasting community wherever we are sent.  This became especially evident while I studying the great missionary book of Acts.  The apostles didn’t just roll in, bless a community, and then roll out.  They traveled, lingered for years at a time, adopted the local culture and customs and worked extensively to build a unique community of faith.  In the Bible, missionaries were, more often than not, church planters.

So, in 2005, my family and I began the journey to NYC.  We left our home in PA (traveled) to bless the Jews and Gentiles of Queens (specific people group) with the message of God (evangelism) and the single intention of establishing a church (community).  It turned out that the more God honed our calling as missionaries, the more we understood the challenge and blessing of being missionaries.  Raising money and traveling is a little tricky.  Raising money, traveling and learning to love an entirely different group of people is tough.  Raising money, traveling, loving an entirely different people and then serving them with the knowledge and discipline of God while striving to establish these people into a community of God and each other...wow.  It is safe to say that I got my butt kicked in NYC.  Not by NYC itself, but by the incredible challenge that is inherent to church planting.  What we came to realize is that unless the missionary becomes ‘one’ with the people and culture he/she is trying to love and serve, the mission is a bust! Yes, we saw good and lasting ‘fruit’ during the early years of ministry, but, in hindsight, all of these were the results of either us (unintentionally, in most cases) building deep relationship with these individuals or someone else.  The missionaries of Scripture not only went out and established communities of faith, they first sought to identify with the people.  This is hard, and it involves so much more than learning a few Yiddish phrases, rooting for the Yankees, or complaining about the subway system.  Identifying means to bear one another’s burdens as your own, to see and feel the challenges through their eyes, and to see each other as equals, even if you do possess ‘the cure’ of Truth.  The last years of our ministry in NYC were amazing because we were growing closer and closer to both the ones inside the Church and those who were still yet to come in.  I cannot say that I became a NYer, but I certainly do hope that those who we served would say that I was ‘one’ with them (John 17:15-17).

Now, all of this may explain how a boy with dreams of moving to Europe eventually landed him in NYC, but where does the Navy fit in?  Good question.  In addition to teaching us how to be more effective missionaries, NYC also allowed my wife and I the opportunity to discern our core values, interests and burdens.  We like the hard stuff.  We know who we are, who we need each other to be, and that our ministry gifting is found in the deep crisis of life.  We have deep, deep convictions on matters of faith, family, and sacrifice, and the closest parallel to these is found within the military ideals (notice: ideals).  I love my country and am proud to serve in its defense, but that is not the primary reason I am serving (which is good because the law forbids me to pick up a gun, move ammo, or report military activity).  We are serving because I have been divinely burdened to love, identify with, and care for men and servicewomen and their families in their context…under oath.

In conclusion, let me end by saying this…as you can see, this was all a process.  There is no way we could have fulfilled this call, up to this point, in any other way.  It took time, experience, success and failure, deep conversations with God and His people, and lots and lots of humility.  I do not believe that ‘coming to faith’ is a journey, but I do believe that growing in, understanding and experiencing that faith is a life-long pursuit.  We still haven’t figured out the fullness of the calling He placed on me (or my wife) at a very young age.  But, our eyes, ears and hearts are open and being in the Navy is clearly a part of it.  Anchors aweigh…

Reasons Why

In 2005, God sent my family and I to Queens, NYC to plant a church.  What God did during that 10-year period was simply amazing, but the real growth/change/and ministry was what He did in me.  I thought we were going to change the City, little did I know what was really going to happen was that God was going to change me.

King and Kingdom - The Gospel
As a church planter, I learned what the Gospel really is, and who I really am both with and without it's power in my life. Yes, the Gospel can be stated in a variety of Christian, Protestant, and Evangelical terms, but what it really comes down to is "King and Kingdom."  The Gospel is that there is one true King and neither I, nor you, are him.  God alone is the Kingdom and He has established His Kingdom with its rule and justice.  Those who submit to the King will live in His blessings; those who do not, will suffer under His wrath and justice.  It's that simple.

The Good News (Gospel) is not only is this one, eternal King both sovereign and perfect, but He is also loving and merciful.  All that one has to do live under His blessing is repent and submit to His rule and law.  There is no penance or self-reliance in His Kingdom, only mercy and aid for the repentant.  Those who submit to God's authority receive forgiveness through the ransom of His Son and the power to do what is right through His Holy Spirit.  The Good News is the opportunity to live each day in love and submission to the King while enjoying His Kingdom.

Building a Church vs. Submitting to the King
As I stated above, I truly believe the Lord did more in more during our time in NYC than in anything else we attempted.  As a young pastor, responsible for producing a vibrant and growing church, it was incredibly tempting to get caught up in the expectations of culture, denominations, peers and self-glory.  Everyone loves a success, and in America, success = big.  Pastors do some really dumb thing in an effort to be viewed as a 'success,' including self-justifying really bad preaching and theology on both salvation and 'church growth.'  During most of my time in NYC, I was no different in most of these respects.  By God's grace, however, it was in the first year of the church launch that I was severely rebuked by the Lord for preaching 'felt need' sermons and 'prosperity.'  The contemporary message simply was not in Scripture and I was burdened to only 'preach the Word' (I Tim 2).  So, after our first 4-week 'felt needs' sermon series, I switched tactics and began preaching verse-by-verse through books of the Bible.  It was through this hermeneutical approach that the 'King and Kingdom' truth of the Gospel came shining through and realized in our church plant.

Nevertheless, I still felt the earthly temptation to contribute and exercise authority in regards to God's Kingdom growth. I fought hard against my peers, enemies, and self-doubt for years trying to be the means of God's Kingdom expansion and numeric growth.  Ironically, I was growing in my understanding of Kingdom principles during these early years, but I absolutely sucked at finding the right application.  It was still all about me and my reputation before others.  I was trying to build His church, and what I needed to do was simply submit to the King.  Instead of caring about myself, or even others, God was (and still is) calling me and His people to care ultimately about HIM.  When He is our first authority (not just love), we let go of the steering wheel of life and, instead, become about His glory and will, everything changes.  We go from merely acknowledging His Kingdom and become benefactors and members of it.  It took almost our full 10-years in NYC to realize this distinction and truth, but I am forever grateful that we did!

So, here I am. Having felt the leading of the Lord to resign my leadership in NYC and pursue ministry elsewhere, my family and I are now in a brand new (& very unique) form of vocational ministry and proclaiming the Gospel to a whole new group of people.  The context will always change, but the calling and message of my life remains the same. I must simply submit to the King and proclaim His Kingdom until He comes again.